Here Without You 🙇‍♂️

Wishing Upon A Star

As I wish upon a star, as I hold onto who you are, as I cling to a part in our story that has yet to unfold. I look back at the journey, I look behind what’s in my rear views and all I ever see is what it took to get to you. Remembering all the time wasted, the partners we chose to try an hide away the pain of not having one another. You: people pleasing those around you, me: moving onto what never would make me feel the way you do. Getting ourselves in situations that would break us down because we were too stubborn to make amends. To fix our wrongs, and open ourselves up to what we truly felt. Too scared to truly fall into the depths of our authentic emotions of self; what could’ve been. What was always meant for us, what God has divinely planned to give us; each other. I guess it was pre determined, I guess he knew what he was doing all along. It was a part in our story where we didn’t understand, where we were too caught up in our own lives to see that we should’ve spent it with each other. I’ve missed you everyday since you went silent, I’ve prayed to see you again, to talk to you again, to run into you and just smile and hug you. I have always loved you, I fell in love with you when I met you. You made me believe in love at first sight, you made me hope again, you helped me to trust in a divine plan. You were always my plan, I was willing to change everything about me for you. I would’ve given up anything for you, all I wanted to do was spend every day by your side. You were my best friend in a time where I was truly lost, where I felt all alone after going through a trauma that I never thought I’d get over. I came back home from across the world and there you were, an Angel in human form. Like I had run directly into fate, like there was nothing else left to look for. I was searching for you the whole time, the moment I looked into your eyes I just knew. The way you smiled, the way you laughed, the way you looked at me. It was all too good to be true, maybe that’s what made us go our separate ways, maybe we were too afraid to lose it all. So we self sabotaged, you went off and ran away and I continued to look for an empty feeling I knew only you could fill. It’s never been easy since losing you, in fact it felt like I was constantly chasing a high that would never satisfy. I looked for you in everyone, I knew I would never be able to find another you. So I settled, I got myself into a situation that almost took my life. I was set up, I was used in a sick and twisted game. Chained into a family that played the part of caring about me perfectly all to betray me in despicable ways. I continued to hope for better days, I tried to reach out to you again only to get crickets. I didn’t know what I was doing wrong anymore, I felt like if I poured out my heart to the people I loved that they would feel it too, they would see me for who I really am, they would want to express how they truly felt. Instead all it got me was more silence, it helped me to understand I’m pouring into empty cups rather than filling my own. The love I held was meant for me all along. I needed to pour into myself, I needed to love the parts of me that everyone else seemed like they were neglecting. I started to polish my own shine again, I started to glow internally from the grace I gave myself. It was the greatest choice I could’ve ever made, it led me back to who I am underneath. I woke up, I ascended, I overcame the devil, I defeated demons, I took down an entire empire all by myself. When I thought I needed someone, the whole time all I ever really needed was to love myself enough, to believe in my strength, toughen out the hardships of loneliness and meet the devil face to face. Break down the illusions of fear, of never being loved how I choose to love; unconditionally, vulnerable, outward. The fear of being abandoned again, being betrayed again. So I chose to choose myself over anyone and anything. To break free from the chains and bindings these sick and twisted hidden enemies tried to trap me in. I broke all their curses, I defeated all their cult members, I dismantled their very foundations they built on quick sand. I was able to do all of this because of my heart, because of my belief, because of my faith. I never lost hope in love throughout it all, I never gave up on the thought that there was someone out there who would love me for all that I am; every part of me. Not needing to change myself to fit into a box, or fill up empty cups. To break free from modern day molds they place on us to not express ourselves and hide away our authentic emotions. Instead, I forged my own sword, I went into the jungle of darkness and took it with me to cut down anything that would block my path. I built my own way out, I defined my own story, I led a life most are too scared to ever lead. What makes me love myself now is the knowing that no one could ever do what I do, no one could ever fill my shoes, no one could ever love like I do. That’s what makes me special, that’s what I always wanted you to see. Was that my heart is so big it can’t be replicated, it can’t be replaced. The way I love you will never be reproduced. It was always written this way, it’s the way God had created me with pure intention. To go against the grain, any other way only leads to more dead ends. Round and round we go again until you understand that you are the most beautiful Angel deserving of true, authentic love, even if you try and tell yourself you aren’t worthy; you are. You deserve a world where you feel safe, where you feel wanted, where you feel protected, where you feel like no one will ever hurt you. Where you can trust, where you can open up, where you can give away your heart to someone who will actually die for it. Not someone who will only break it. I overcame the whole world just to get to you, and I'd do it all over again if it meant I get to show my love for you. I'm in love with you, every part of you; I always will be. I’m not here to play small, or take it slow, I’m here to bust down barriers, to break your internal walls, to prove to you that a life with you after everything is all I care for. That anything outside of you doesn’t interest me, I could have the whole world, but without you in it; I’d feel empty. I would refuse every offer just to wait for yours. I don’t need anyone else, I don’t want a story other than ours. This is a love story that turns pages, this is a story that sells copies, this is a novel sold in stores. I’m ready for you whenever you are ready to open your heart up again and choose to be loved how you were always meant to be. You weren’t meant to be in pain, to be betrayed. We have the same testimony, we have the same soul. Our time is here, our time to tell our stories is now. From dawn to dusk, from dark to light, from pain to passion, from struggle to success. Be with me, live with me, marry me, make babies with me, build with me, live a love story written just for you and me. I love you, endlessly. I love you even when you feel broken, even if you’re not fully healed, even if you made mistakes, even if you didn’t understand before. You see it clearly now, so quit holding back and just lean in. God would never lead you astray and either would His chosen one made specifically for you. We are Trinity & Neo in the matrix, we are Adam & Eve of the new world, we are real world Angels hiding in human bodies. Step in to your divinity, shine your eternal light you were never meant to dim for others. Your light shines brighter than all of them, your power comes from within, your fire is lit, don’t put out the flame that only you hold. I will help you heal, I will help you grow, I will lead you to exactly where we need to go. What we need to do is simple; heal one another. I’m never giving up on you, I’m never leaving you behind. I am your best friend, I am your partner in time; forever in eternity, across the fabrics of space. All you have to do is reach out & meet me half way.

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With eternal love,

Your Archangel